News varying markedly from the usual©

Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby Slowhand » Thu May 03, 2018 1:19 pm

How dare you interrupt my Lime Rickey!
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby momadance » Mon May 07, 2018 11:09 am

Titlehungry wrote:Nice celebration... whole team peed on the fans in honor or Tate's acquisition
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby Bill McNeal » Tue May 08, 2018 10:39 am

Jurors in a Brooklyn corrections officer’s sex-assault trial appear to be sick of hearing about his huge, stinky penis.

The jurors were visibly glum and, in some cases, exasperated Wednesday as prosecutors continued a second day of grilling accusers on the shape and odor of Lt. Eugenio Perez’s phallus — which the feds say is so distinctive, it helped them confirm the women’s stories.

“It was so big. I wanted to throw up,” a 50-year-old former inmate testified through a translator while explaining how Perez forced her to perform oral sex on him while he was working at the Metropolitan Detention Center in 2016.

“It had a smell like he didn’t wash or take a shower … it was a really strong smell.”

....

On the first day of the trial, another alleged victim was also asked to describe the distinctive appendage.

“He wasn’t circumcised. It was big, and it was like a hook…It was humongous and it curved,” the 38-year-old told the court.

“If it didn’t stink I would have been all over that s–t.”


https://nypost.com/2018/05/02/jurors-si ... nky-penis/
man I drew all these penises for nothing - housh
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby swishnicholson » Tue May 08, 2018 11:12 am



Not me! Up at Holmdel High school and adjacent to the cross country course which has been used for all the State championships for the past 40 years or so. It's most distinctive feature is tagged "The Bowl" - you would have thought he could make the short trip.
Which part? And who are you?
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby Bucky » Fri May 11, 2018 5:51 am

In 1957, a city in Oklahoma buried a brand-new Plymouth Belvedre in a concrete vault, along with a microfilm of guesses what that city's population would be in 2007. The idea was it would be dug up in 2007 and whomever had the closest guess on the population would get the car. But, they failed at making the vault waterproof. 50 year later hilarity ensued.

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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby Bucky » Wed May 16, 2018 12:06 pm

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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby Bill McNeal » Wed May 16, 2018 12:25 pm



Unfortunately

World News Daily Report assumes all responsibility for the satirical nature of its articles and for the fictional nature of their content. All characters appearing in the articles in this website – even those based on real people – are entirely fictional and any resemblance between them and any person, living, dead or undead, is purely a miracle.
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby Slowhand » Wed May 16, 2018 12:39 pm

Oh, Bucky.
How dare you interrupt my Lime Rickey!
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby Monkeyboy » Wed May 16, 2018 12:40 pm

Bucky, purveyor of fake news.
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby Bucky » Wed May 16, 2018 12:41 pm

too good to vet!
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby swishnicholson » Wed May 16, 2018 12:45 pm



Actually this is where I coach track (though the boys had an away meet, so we were nowhere around).

What a maroon.
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby momadance » Thu Jul 05, 2018 10:51 am

LAMAR TOWNSHIP, Pa. — A man and woman, who state police believe were high on bath salts, fired shots into the sky to chase away “alien lasers” in Clinton County.

Troopers say just after midnight on Saturday, Jesse Shields fired a handgun at the “lasers.”

The lasers, as it turns out, were actually fireflies.

Shields and Katherine McCloskey, fearing they were being chased, ran to a nearby home.

Someone inside called 911.

The duo then ran to a neighboring home where the homeowner got the gun from them.

Shields asked that homeowner if he could take a shower to, quote, “get the goo off him that was burning his skin.”

Troopers showed up and arrested Shields and McCloskey.

The pair from Mill Hall are locked up in Clinton County.
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby swishnicholson » Thu Jul 12, 2018 3:06 pm

Bird snatchers videoed in Washington Square Park (Phila)

In the videos, the man accompanying the woman appears to throw food on the ground to attract the sparrows. When a sizable group of birds surrounded the park bench where the duo were seated, the woman is seen slowly leaning over and extending her hand. Twice she quickly snatched a single bird, put it in a plastic bag and tied the bag shut.
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby Slowhand » Fri Sep 28, 2018 9:17 am

How dare you interrupt my Lime Rickey!
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby Monkeyboy » Fri Sep 28, 2018 10:44 am

would
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby swishnicholson » Sun Sep 30, 2018 12:29 pm

Which part? And who are you?
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby Uncle Milty » Tue Oct 02, 2018 6:34 am

So a horse walks into a bar:

Drunk and stupid is no way to be remembered but it is an easy way to forget.

But I took them away from all that. Now they work for me.
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby swishnicholson » Thu Dec 06, 2018 12:28 am

Serial masuturbator arrested after incident with toilet brush in doctor's office

Just a sad and sordid tale of man who likes to expose himself.

But then there's his name (and I am not making this up):

[Reveal] Spoiler:
Brian M. Bates
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby Monkeyboy » Thu Dec 06, 2018 2:47 am

serial masturbator?

a.k.a. Human

The problem was that he was doing it in public in front of people. He also sounds mentally ill. And gross, he's gross.
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Re: News varying markedly from the usual©

Postby Uncle Milty » Thu Dec 06, 2018 7:14 am

still better than a cereal masturbator
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