Miss That Butt Jutt

Miss That Butt Jutt

Postby my cousin mose » Tue Oct 12, 2010 11:00 pm

In honor of Philadelphia's favorite son by way of Arkansas (sorry TV) returning home, I wanted to start a place to put all funny stories, quotes, pictures, parables and all things PtB related.

I'll start'er off

One friend-of-a-friend story included Pat leaving her a present the next day after one drunken libidinous night with The Bat — his Valtrex. But an even more vintage Bat story is this second-hand gem:

The story goes: A few guys were on a business trip in Pittsburgh. A couple of the guys knew the Phils were in town, so when they all spotted Burrell at a club there one night, it wasn't a total surprise. Pat ended up taking a liking to one of the girls in their group. She thought he was hot but didn't follow baseball. He took her back to his hotel room, and a make-out session ensued until she alerted Pat that she would NOT do him. Not fazed by this, Burrell seemed to respect her chastity, and rather than force himself on her or fly into a blueball rage, he asked a simple question, glancing down at his engorged pants: "Mind if I take care of business?"

The horrified woman didn't stay the night, letting Pat, take care of his business on his own.


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Last edited by my cousin mose on Tue Oct 12, 2010 11:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Miss That Butt Jutt

Postby drsmooth » Tue Oct 12, 2010 11:03 pm

my cousin mose wrote:I'll start'er off


there's no overlooking how the story, the avatar, well, y'know
Yes, but in a double utley you can put your utley on top they other guy's utley, and you're the winner. (Swish)
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Postby my cousin mose » Tue Oct 12, 2010 11:13 pm

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You merely adopted your mothers basement, I was born there - MoBettle
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Postby BigEd76 » Tue Oct 12, 2010 11:35 pm

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Postby mozartpc27 » Wed Oct 13, 2010 12:21 am

I heard like a third-hand story once from a friend of a friend of a friend who was supposedly PtB's roommate down at the University of Miami. Rumor was PtB liked the threesome action, with two dudes and one gal, and had even done a little "experimenting."

Take this BS for what it is worth.
"I'm in a bar with the games sound turned off and that Cespedes home run still sounded like inevitability."

-swish
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Postby mozartpc27 » Wed Oct 13, 2010 12:25 am

"I'm in a bar with the games sound turned off and that Cespedes home run still sounded like inevitability."

-swish
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Postby jerseyhoya » Wed Oct 13, 2010 12:27 am

How much better is "CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!" from Harry than "HOW ABOUT THAT?!" from TMac?
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Postby mozartpc27 » Wed Oct 13, 2010 12:29 am

jerseyhoya wrote:How much better is "CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!" from Harry than "HOW ABOUT THAT?!" from TMac?


The difference between chicken salad and chicken #$!&@.




(^ An old Whitey line about the difference between the Vet and Connie Mack, before nostalgia took over)
"I'm in a bar with the games sound turned off and that Cespedes home run still sounded like inevitability."

-swish
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Postby bleh » Wed Oct 13, 2010 1:05 am

Story of how Pat Burrell sexually harassed Aubrey Huff's mother

http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-new ... ck_check=1
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Postby phdave » Wed Oct 13, 2010 1:36 am

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Postby phdave » Wed Oct 13, 2010 1:38 am

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The Phillies: People trading People to People.
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Postby phdave » Wed Oct 13, 2010 1:42 am

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The Phillies: People trading People to People.
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Postby Phan In Phlorida » Wed Oct 13, 2010 1:58 am

2003 interview, Philadelphia Weekly:

"The fans have been !@#$ing great all year," Pat Burrell says, when he finally sits down to talk after either blowing off or ignoring several interview requests over the course of two weeks.

"Well !@#$, you can definitely hear it," he says when asked about the booing that came early in the season. "It's not like I'm standing up there and I can just block 'em out. Yeah, you hear it, but when you put on this uniform you have a responsibility to 25 guys, to the organization and to the city and fans. If they feel like I'm letting them down, well, that's motivation, that's not crawl in the hole and cry about it. You think, 'Maybe these mother!@#$ers are right. Maybe I have to step it up a bit.'"
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Postby Phan In Phlorida » Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:11 am

Don't think this is on the Penthouse website anymore, I found it posted on some blog or something...

The infamous 2001 April Penthouse interview:
(the towel story and more)

Q: Is it true that your off-season home of Clearwater, Florida, has strip joints on every corner?

A: It does seem like there is one on every corner. I’m not a big fan of them. Something that surprised me at this one strip joint is, when you walk in, they give you a towell. I asked, “What do I need this for?” The guy at the door said, “Trust me, you will.” I said, “Let me get this straight. A girl is going to dance for however long the song is, and I’m going to need this towel?” Let me tell you, I needed the towel. I don’t know what happened. Nothing of mine touched anything of hers. It just doesn’t make sense.


Q: So, I hear you read penthouse magazine just for the articles, is that true?

A: I read the Jeremy Giambi interview a couple of months ago. good God, what is up with that mink coat? I loved his motto about hitting like an all-star and !@#$ing like a porn star.


Q: What do you like to see women wear?

A: I prefer nothing.


Q: What would make you run from a woman’s bedroom?

A: I’m into “manicured landscapes.” If I’m with a girl who has “bad hedging,” and need to cut the “grass,” I think I’d leave.


Q: Are you a better lover or baseball player?

A: That’s probably something that could best be answered by others. But I think I’ve got both areas right where the need to be.


Q: Would cheerleaders spice up the game a bit?

A: I don’t think it would hurt, and I know the players would love it. I’m pretty sure my teammate Randy Wolf, would be a strong supporter of cheerleaders far beyond anyone else.


Q: Whats the craziest way you’ve met a woman during a game?

A: One thing I did was grab a baseball and sign the name of the bar I wanted to meet her at after the game.


Q: Are you the type that likes to watch?

A: I’d rather be in the middle of two women than watch. You can only look for so long before you have to jump into the fire.


Q: What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever worn.

A: Every year rookies have these things they have to do. First off, I don’t wear underwear...ever. I haven’t worn a pair in years. i had to wear this little dress. It was tight and I wasn’t wearing any underwear. When I walked out of the stadium at Wrigley Field to get on our bus, there were about 10,000 people laughing at me. Then I had to get on the team plane, and it was pretty windy on the runway.


Q: Who is your dream date?

A: I have something for Britney Spears. Some people wonder, are her boobs real? I wouldn’t mind finding out personally.


Q: When you first meet a woman for the first time, how long is it before you are thinking about what she looks like naked.

A: Within seconds.
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Postby Fusilli Jerry » Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:16 am

Post deleted because Phan In Phlorida beat me to the punch.
Last edited by Fusilli Jerry on Wed Oct 13, 2010 3:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby slugsrbad » Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:24 am

I love that cotdamn bastard so much. He's so wily.
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Postby pacino » Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:29 am

:h:
I confess that I have never seen Markelle Fultz play a basketball game and I was not at his 76ers workout Saturday in Camden

I must not hoop
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Postby VoxOrion » Wed Oct 13, 2010 6:28 am

I don't support any of this. Pat Burrell is the enemy right now and must be destroyed.
“There are no cool kids. Just people who have good self-esteem and people who blame those people for their own bad self-esteem. “
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Postby JUburton » Wed Oct 13, 2010 8:07 am

mozartpc27 wrote:I heard like a third-hand story once from a friend of a friend of a friend who was supposedly PtB's roommate down at the University of Miami. Rumor was PtB liked the threesome action, with two dudes and one gal, and had even done a little "experimenting."

Take this BS for what it is worth.
This is #$!&@ heresy.
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Postby drsmooth » Wed Oct 13, 2010 8:29 am

VoxOrion wrote:I don't support any of this. Pat Burrell is the enemy right now and must be destroyed.


Leaving the leftfield grass a little unkempt would clearly mess with his head
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